By Mike Finger, Columnist | San Antonio Express-News (SAEN), 2025-10-07 16:37:14
由生成式人工智能翻译，译文内容可能不准确或不完整，以原文为准。
2025年10月6日，周一，在霜冻银行中心举行的马刺队对阵广州龙狮队的季前赛揭幕战中，圣安东尼奥马刺队的维克托·文班亚马（1号）封盖了广州龙狮队球员弗兰克·卡明斯基（44号）的投篮。
维克托·文班亚马 (Victor Wembanyama) 真是让我抓狂。
他让我抓狂，就像他肯定也让哈里森·巴恩斯 (Harrison Barnes)、卢克·科内特 (Luke Kornet) 以及其他那些将职业生涯奉献给一项本应极具挑战的技艺，却远未能像这位21岁的法国人一样，将一切变得如此举重若轻的凡夫俗子们抓狂一样。
当文班亚马只是让职业篮球运动员感到自己被时代淘汰时，我觉得还行。
但现在，他开始对我们这些体育记者做同样的事情了？
得了吧，孩子。各司其职行不行？至少在语言方面，用你的母语吧。
周一晚间，在马刺队的季前赛揭幕战结束后，我脑中闪过这个念头。在那样一个夜晚，所有参与者本应满足于甩掉夏天的锈迹。那晚既没有总冠军奖杯等待赢取，当然也没有普利策奖。
然而，文班亚马就是管不住他自己。在因伤缺阵七个多月后，他竟然敢于以赛季中期的状态强势回归——不仅是一位顶级的盖帽手和多才多艺的进攻组织者，更气人的是，他还是一位语言大师。
当被问及为何多次放弃看起来轻松的得分机会而选择助攻时，这位身高7英尺4英寸的分析师用他即兴创作的升级版篮球格言给出了回答——追求绝佳的投篮机会，而非仅仅是好的机会。
“也许我放弃了一次我闭着眼睛都能投进的球，”文班亚马说，“但这是为了给我的队友创造一次他在睡梦中都能投进的机会。”
你看，这话说得多么精妙，但同时又很“不厚道”。当我本应报道的那个家伙，遣词造句的能力竟然比我这个受过专业训练的人还强时，你让我的脸往哪儿搁？
更糟糕的是，他说的是英语——这是文班亚马十几岁时才学会的语言，而我据称已经说了一辈子了——这让我显得多么无能？
这种情况已经变得无法忍受了。每当我想用800字来阐述一个关于马刺队的深刻观点时，文班亚马用20个词就做到了。在训练营的第一周，他参加了三次简短的采访，每一次都充满了那种简洁凝练的口头体育评论，让任何后续的阐述都显得多余。
文班亚马谈及自己在团队建设中的角色：“我们每个人都在努力找到属于自己的那块拼图，而我的那块恰好比较大。”
文班亚马重新诠释马刺的“锤石”格言：“我记得所有伟大的思想家都认同，你需要专注于当下。你不可能一天就建成一座城堡，但你可以每天为它添一块砖。”
文班亚马谈及珍惜夏天的环球旅行：“生命不是永恒的，我们注定会错过一些经历。这无法避免。但我要尽我所能，错过最少的那些。”
文班亚马反驳他无法在NBA比赛中使用少林武僧搏击招式的说法：“我的意思是，我能用，但只能用一次。”
文班亚马谈增重：“我仍然吃得很多，但很明显，我觉得我短期内还胖不成个球。”
够了，孩子。如果连你的玩笑都比我的高明，我可就麻烦大了。
这肯定和巴恩斯、科内特以及马刺队其他球员的感受如出一辙。当他们一遍又一遍地练习同一个低位动作，不断打磨直至近乎完美，然后在每一次训练中意识到，只要文班亚马想，他随时都能把球从空中扇飞。当他们拼了命地防守他，然后意识到他所要做的就是尝试一种人类前所未见的投篮方式，然后他们就束手无策了。
正如过去几年里，文班亚马的队友们常常带着那种我们熟悉的、难以置信的茫然表情所问的那样：这孩子还有什么是做不到的吗？
对于巴恩斯、科内特和马刺队的其他球员来说，好的一面是，既然文班亚马已经恢复健康，他可以将他那令人抓狂、层出不穷的技巧库释放在联盟其他球队身上了。
而对我来说，好的一面呢？作为一名体育记者，我仍然比文班亚马有一个优势。
是的，他或许能比我更好地完成我的工作。
但他绝不会为了我这点薪水来干这份活。
San Antonio Spurs Victor Wembanyama (1) shares a laugh with San Antonio Spurs Jeremy Sochan (10) in a Spurs preseason opener vs. Guangzhou Loong-Lions on Monday, Oct. 6, 2025 at Frost Bank Center.
San Antonio Spurs Victor Wembanyama (1) drives the ball down court in a Spurs preseason opener vs. Guangzhou Loong-Lions on Monday, Oct. 6, 2025 at Frost Bank Center.
San Antonio Spurs Victor Wembanyama (1) gets congratulates to San Antonio Spurs Luke Kornet (7) in a Spurs preseason opener vs. Guangzhou Loong-Lions on Monday, Oct. 6, 2025 at Frost Bank Center.
San Antonio Spurs Victor Wembanyama (1) gets congratulation from San Antonio Spurs head coach Mitch Johnson in a Spurs preseason opener vs. Guangzhou Loong-Lions on Monday, Oct. 6, 2025 at Frost Bank Center.
San Antonio Spurs Victor Wembanyama (1) blocks shot attempt of Guangzhou Loong-Lions Frank Kaminsky (44) in a Spurs preseason opener vs. Guangzhou Loong-Lions on Monday, Oct. 6, 2025 at Frost Bank Center.
San Antonio Spurs Victor Wembanyama (1) guards Guangzhou Loong-Lions Frank Kaminsky (44) in a Spurs preseason opener vs. Guangzhou Loong-Lions on Monday, Oct. 6, 2025 at Frost Bank Center.
San Antonio Spurs Victor Wembanyama (1) guards Guangzhou Loong-Lions Frank Kaminsky (44) in a Spurs preseason opener vs. Guangzhou Loong-Lions on Monday, Oct. 6, 2025 at Frost Bank Center.
点击查看原文：Spurs' Victor Wembanyama shows off all his skills in preseason return
Spurs’ Victor Wembanyama shows off all his skills in preseason return
San Antonio Spurs Victor Wembanyama (1) blocks shot of Guangzhou Loong-Lions Frank Kaminsky (44) in a Spurs preseason opener vs. Guangzhou Loong-Lions on Monday, Oct. 6, 2025 at Frost Bank Center.
Victor Wembanyama infuriates me.
He infuriates me in the same way he must infuriate someone like Harrison Barnes, or Luke Kornet, or any other mere mortal who has dedicated his professional life to a supposedly challenging craft and never come close to making it look as effortlessly easy as a 21-year-old Frenchman does.
It was fine when Wembanyama was making professional basketball players feel obsolete.
But now that he keeps doing it to sports writers?
Come on, kid. Stay in your lane. Or at least in your first language.
I had this thought late Monday evening after the Spurs’ exhibition opener, when everybody involved should have been content to shake off the summer rust. There were no championships to be won on a night like that, and certainly no Pulitzer Prizes, either.
Wembanyama just can’t help himself, though. After being sidelined for more than seven months, he had the audacity to make his return in midseason form, not only as a shot-blocker and a multifaceted offensive creator but also, maddeningly, as a wordsmith.
When asked about the multiple times he chose assists over what looked like easy buckets, the 7-foot-4 analyst answered with his updated, off-the-cuff version of an old basketball maxim about striving for great shots over good ones.
“Maybe I turned down a shot I could make with my eyes closed,” Wembanyama said. “But that was to get one of my teammates a shot he could make in his sleep.”
Now see, that’s a brilliant turn of phrase, but it’s also rude. How is it supposed to make me, a trained professional, feel when the guy I’m supposed to be covering insists on stringing sentences together better than I can?
And how terrible does it make me look when he’s doing it in English, which Wembanyama picked up as a teenager and which I’ve allegedly been speaking my entire life?
This situation is becoming untenable. Every time I try to make some trenchant point about the Spurs in 800 words, Wembanyama does it in 20. During the first week of training camp he’s participated in three short interview sessions, and each one of them has been filled with the kind of concise oral sports writing that makes elaboration redundant.
Wembanyama on his role in team-building: “We each try to find our piece of the puzzle, and mine happens to be pretty big.”
Wembanyama, rewriting the Spurs’ “pound the rock” mantra: “I remember that all the great thinkers agree that you need to focus on the present moment. You’re not going to build a castle today, but you can lay a brick each day.”
Wembanyama on savoring his trips around the world over the summer: “Life isn’t forever, and there are some experiences we’re going to miss on. It is inevitable. But I’m going to miss on the least that I can.”
Wembanyama, disputing the notion that he couldn’t use the kickboxing moves from Shaolin monks in an NBA game: “I mean, I can, but just once.”
Wembanyama on bulking up: “I’m still eating a lot, but obviously I don’t think I’ll be obese anytime soon.”
Enough already, kid. If even your jokes are better than mine, I’m in a world of trouble.
This has to be what Barnes and Kornet and every other Spurs player thinks when they work on the same post move over and over and over, fine-tuning it until it becomes almost perfect, and then realize during every practice that Wembanyama can swat it out of the air whenever he wants. It has to be what they think when they try like heck to defend him, and then realize that all he has to do is try a shot no human ever has attempted before, and they’re beat.
As Wembanyama’s teammates often have asked over the past couple of years, usually with a familiar blank stare of disbelief on their face, is there anything the kid can’t do?
The upside for Barnes and Kornet and the rest of the Spurs is that, now that Wembanyama is healthy again, he can unleash his infuriatingly endless bag of tricks on the rest of the league.
And the upside for me? As a sports writer, I still have one edge over Wembanyama.
Yes, he might be able to do my job better than I can.
But he’d never do it for my paycheck.
By Mike Finger, Columnist, via San Antonio Express-News