1999-05-08, By Buck Harvey
最畅销的人生指南?马刺出品
除了再举行几次机场庆祝活动和一场胜利游行之外,其他一切都已尘埃落定。所有人都确信马刺队可能还会再输一场比赛,然后凭借难以想象的侥幸获胜,以至于出版社已经拟好了名为“隔壁的百万富翁”的图书项目。
隔壁的百万富翁
一本理财指南。冠军蒂姆·邓肯(Tim Duncan)为您解读其他人是如何赚钱的,以及您也可以如何赚钱。
节选: “明尼苏达州明尼阿波利斯市的加内特(Garnett)先生明智地提升了市场所需的技能,充分利用了他的雇主,最后,在比利·亨特(Billy Hunter)出现之前就进入了职场。”
序言作者: 大卫·斯特恩(David Stern)
“我迫不及待地想迎接明天,因为我每天都少受一点憎恨。”
南德克萨斯州最受欢迎的儿子格雷格·波波维奇(Gregg Popovich)谈到他想让球迷们高兴,并回归卫冕,但他也说他已经筋疲力尽了,需要一些时间在蒙大拿州的牧场上独处。
节选: “我想如果价钱合适,我会回来的。”
序言作者: 菲尔·杰克逊(Phil Jackson)
“我来自金星,而你们这些混蛋来自火星。”
马里奥·埃利(Mario Elie)探讨人际关系。
节选: “最后一次告诉你们这些混蛋,我的名字念作‘马里奥(Mary-o)’。”
序言作者: 奥斯卡(Oscar the Grouch)
篮球傻瓜教程
斯蒂芬·马布里(Stephon Marbury)详细阐述了他上个月的言论。当时,马布里为了能在新泽西州与朋友们住在一起,已经拆散了森林狼队,他宣称,在这个糟糕的赛季里,NBA篮球比赛太糟糕了,天哪,他们应该继续下去,取消一切。
节选: “但我还是想要我的钱。”
序言作者: 大卫·福尔克(David Falk)
肘击鼻子
威尔·珀杜(Will Perdue)的儿童读物。
节选: “如果可以的话,如果可能的话,我们可以来一记漂亮的右勾拳吗?”
“哎哟,”我说,“不过话说回来,我可以用下巴防守。”
序言作者: 泡泡先生(Mr. Puffy Ankle)
烧烤季
安德鲁·盖兹(Andrew Gaze)用你最喜欢的澳大利亚俚语,带你回顾马刺队的赛季,每天都会有一篇报道。
节选: “4月21日——我那该死的脚伤让我上了伤病名单,伙计,但我记不清是应该在我左脚踝还是右脚踝上放一杯冰镇福斯特啤酒。”
序言作者: 保罗·霍根(Paul Hogan)
马利克医生的健身革命
马利克·罗斯(Malik Rose)医生为您提供循序渐进的指导,教您如何更有效地燃烧脂肪。
节选: “犯规乔·史密斯(Joe Smith),撞击凯文·加内特,拉扯迪恩·加内特(Dean Garrett),跳过拉多斯拉夫·内斯特洛维奇(Radoslav Nesterovic)。重复以上动作,直到呼吸困难或被要求离开。”
序言作者: 丹尼斯·罗德曼(Dennis Rodman)医生
莫妮卡和O.J.
凯文·加内特在几个月前宣称他的森林狼队将通过击败马刺队来“震惊世界”之后,试图用类似的耸人听闻的方式再次尝试。
节选: “莫妮卡经常打电话给O.J.,有时甚至太频繁了。”
序言作者: 菲利普·桑德斯(Flip Saunders)
孤独的戴夫
大卫·罗宾逊(David Robinson)创作的西部小说。一个高大、有灵性的牛仔发现自己不再是最棒的了。
节选: “该死的另一个牛仔!”
序言作者: 斯利姆·邓肯(Slim Duncan)
乔丹统治的时代,就像过去式一样
史蒂夫·科尔(Steve Kerr)在又一次赢得总冠军后解释了他是如何在两个州支持失败者的。
节选: “把它传过来,你这个秃头、爱说闲话的棒球弃儿,”我对伊利诺伊州的那个笨蛋说。
序言作者: 杰里·克劳斯(Jerry Krause)
第二卷:殉道之后的生活
鲍勃·希尔(Bob Hill)在他的第二本书中探讨了美容秘诀,以及其他可以打发空闲时间的事情。
节选: “高尔夫球。高尔夫球还不错。”
序言作者: 蒙蒂·威廉姆斯(Monty Williams)
六百万美元的人
科幻惊悚片。肖恩·埃利奥特(Sean Elliott)写了一个男人为了他那老迈的第一步,换了新的肾脏、膝盖和心脏的故事。
节选: “书中的人名、角色和事件要么是作者虚构的,要么是虚构的,与任何真实人物,无论是死人还是穿32号球衣的人,都纯属巧合。”
序言作者: 底特律活塞队
心灵鸡汤
艾弗里·约翰逊(Avery Johnson)的励志故事仅提供音频版本。
节选: “啊,我说,‘好吧,好吧,小心胳膊肘!’”
序言作者: 好吧,珀杜
点击查看原文:Best-selling words to live by? Book it, Spurs
Best-selling words to live by? Book it, Spurs
All that’s left are a few more airport celebrations, as well as the victory parade. Everyone is so sure the Spurs will lose maybe one more game, and then by an unimaginable fluke, that publishing houses have already drawn up book projects, titled: “The Millionaire Next Door.”
A financial guide. Champion Tim Duncan looks at how others made their money, and how you can, too.
Excerpt: “A Mr. Garnett of Minneapolis, Minn., was smart to refine skills valued in the market, leverage his employers and, lastly, enter the workplace before anyone ever heard of Billy Hunter.”
Forward by: David Stern.
“I Can’t Wait Until Tomorrow, 'Cause I’m Less Hated Every Day.”
South Texas’ favorite son, Gregg Popovich, talks about how he wants to make fans happy and return for the two-peat, but that he’s just burned out and needs some time to himself on his Montana ranch.
Excerpt: “I guess I’d come back if the money was right.”
Forward by: Phil Jackson.
“I’m from Venus, the Rest of You Bleeps Are From Mars.”
Mario Elie examines relationships.
Excerpt: “For the last time, you bleeps, my bleepin’ name is pronounced Mary-o.”
Forward by: Oscar the Grouch.
“Basketball for Dummies.”
Stephon Marbury elaborates on what he said last month. Then, having already broken apart the Timberwolves so he could live among friends in lottery-bound New Jersey, Marbury declared NBA basketball has been so awful this crunched season that, gosh, they should have gone ahead and canceled everything.
Excerpt: “But I’d still want my money.”
Forward by: David Falk.
“Elbows Knows Nose.”
A children’s book by Will Perdue.
Excerpt: “If we may, if we might, could we throw this nasty right?”
“Ouch, I said, but then again, I could play defense with my chin.”
Forward by: Mr. Puffy Ankle.
“A Season on the Barbie.”
Andrew Gaze takes us through the Spurs’ season with a day-by- day report using all your favorite Australian sayings.
Excerpt: “April 21 - Me bloody foot down-under keeps me on the injured list, mate, but I can’t remember whether to put an icy Fosters on me left or right ankle.”
Forward by: Paul Hogan.
“Dr. Malik’s Fitness Revolution.”
Dr. Malik Rose gives step-by- step instruction on how to burn fat more effectively.
Excerpt: “Foul Joe Smith, bump Kevin Garnett, yank on Dean Garrett, hop past Radoslav Nesterovic. Repeat until breathing hard, or asked to leave.”
Forward by: Dr. Dennis Rodman.
“Monica and O.J.”
Kevin Garnett, months after declaring his Timberwolves would “shock the world” by beating the Spurs, tries again with similar sensationalism.
Excerpt: “Monica telephoned O.J. often, sometimes too often.”
Forward by: Flip Saunders.
“Lonesome Dave.”
A western novel by David Robinson. A tall, spiritual cowboy finds he is no longer the top hand.
Excerpt: “Darn that other cowboy!”
Forward by: Slim Duncan.
“Jordan Ruled, as in Past Tense.”
Steve Kerr explains, after winning yet another championship, how he propped up chumps in two states.
Excerpt: “Pass it here, you bald, tongue-wagging, baseball wash- out,” I said to the chump in Illinois.
Forward by: Jerry Krause.
“Volume Two: Life after Martyrdom.”
In his second book, Bob Hill explores grooming tips, as well as other things to do with your free time.
Excerpt: “Golf. Golf is OK.”
Forward by: Monty Williams.
“Six Million Dollar Man.”
Sci-fi thriller. Sean Elliott writes about a man who gets new kidneys, knees and heart to go with his old first step.
Excerpt: “Names, characters and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, dead or wearing No. 32, is entirely coincidental.”
Forward by: The Detroit Pistons.
“Gumbo for the Soul.”
Avery Johnson’s feel-good anecdotes available in audio version only.
Excerpt: “Ahh say-yed, ‘Wee-ill, Wee-ill, waah-ch the ale-bow!’”
Forward by: Wee-ill Perdue.
By Buck Harvey, via San Antonio Express-News