By Jeph Duarte / Pounding The Rock, 2026-10-01 19:00:00
通常情况下，只有当父母（往往是大老远扯着嗓子）喊孩子、以此告知这倒霉孩子“你摊上事儿了”的时候，才会把中间名搬出来。要是听到有人喊“杰弗里·大卫·杜阿尔特 (Jeffrey David Duarte)”，我整个人都会吓得一哆嗦。（事实上，每当有人叫我“杰弗里”时，我不是在家里惹了祸，就是招惹了政府部门。小时候多半是惹了家人，从十六岁到现在，那罪魁祸首就换成交通法庭了。）
所以，当马刺视频团队的工作人员在媒体日决定用各位球员的“官方大名”（全名）来称呼他们时，球员们都忍不住愣了一下，纷纷回头确认。
女士们先生们，隆重介绍2026-2027赛季圣安东尼奥马刺的各位成员：斯蒂芬·贾冯特·卡斯尔 (Stephon Javonte Castle)、托拜厄斯·约翰·哈里斯 (Tobias John Harris)、朱利安·基马尼·尚帕尼 (Julian Kymani Champagnie)、卡特·戴恩·布莱恩特 (Carter Dayne Bryant)、卢克·弗朗西斯·科内特 (Luke Francis Kornet)、哈里森·布莱斯·乔丹·巴恩斯 (Harrison Bryce Jordan Barnes)，以及凯尔登·怀尔德·约翰逊 (Keldon Wilder Johnson)。
托拜厄斯纠正道，他的中间名其实是“约翰·李，你们肯定不知道吧”。我们确实不知道……而且他的维基百科页面上也压根没写这个“李”。
视频中未出场的还有：德文·安东尼·瓦塞尔 (Devin Anthony Vassell)、迪伦·罗伯特·哈珀 (Dylan Robert Harper)、达龙·马特兹·福克斯 (De’Aaron Martez Fox)，以及维克托·农加·文班亚马-德·福特罗-瓦塞尔 (Victor Nonga Wembanyama-de Fautereau-Vassel)。敢不敢打赌，你绝对没法极速把文班的全名连念五遍。不信你试试，我等着。
还好球员们不用把全名印在球衣背后。不然维克托的球衣得加副袖子才写得下。
距离季前赛还有一周。好戏开场了。
由生成式 AI 翻译，译文内容可能不准确或不完整，以原文为准。
查看原文：Open Thread: Watch the Media Day video addressing Spurs players by their full names
Open Thread: Watch the Media Day video addressing Spurs players by their full names
Normally, middle names are saved for when a parent is calling a child (usually loudly and from a distance) to inform said child that he is, in fact, in trouble. If I heard “Jeffrey David Duarte” a tinge of fear shot through my entire body. (In fact, any time I’ve been referred to as “Jeffrey” I was either in trouble with a family member or a government entity. Family was the usual culprit throughout my childhood, traffic court from sixteen to present.)
So when members of the Spurs video team decided to address members of the team by their “government” names on Media day, the players did a double-take.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the members of your 2026-2027 San Antonio Spurs: Stephon Javonte Castle, Tobias John Harris, Julian Kymani Champagnie, Carter Dayne Bryant, Luke Francis Kornet, Harrison Bryce Jordan Barnes, and Keldon Wilder Johnson.
Tobias corrected stating that his middle name is “John Lee, bet you didn’t know that.” We didn’t…and his Wikipedia page does not list the “Lee” either.
Not introduced: Devin Anthony Vassell, Dylan Robert Harper, De’Aaron Martez Fox, and Victor Nonga Wembanyama-de Fautereau-Vassel. Bet you can’t say Wemby’s full name five times really fast. I’ll wait.
It’s a good thing the players don’t have their full name on the back of their jerseys. Victor’s would need sleeves.
One week to preseason. It’s all happening.
By Jeph Duarte / Pounding The Rock
热评