By Son Trinh | Pounding The Rock (PtR), 2026-06-06 19:03:24
我特别受不了那种在跟你聊了一个小时家庭、工作或者他试图卖给你的车之后，突然来一句“跟你说实话吧”的人。合着你之前一直在撒谎？你根本没有两个孩子，而且这辆车连轮子都没有？但话虽如此，跟你们说实话吧：我原本完全指望着圣安东尼奥马刺队能赢下第二场。这样一来，紧接着第一场之后的各种过度反应，如果维克托·文班亚马 (Victor Wembanyama) 的最后一投投进了，我本想直接倒向另一个极端，宣布这支马刺队是地球上有史以来最伟大的球队。
但是，现实就是如此，我得把这个戏演下去。让我们继续恐慌吧。
10. 甚至连尼克斯名宿的数量都超过了马刺名宿。 我看到伟大的乔治·格文 (George Gervin) 坐在伟大的大卫·罗宾逊 (David Robinson) 身后，还看到我心目中个人的历史最佳（G.O.A.T.）马努·吉诺比利 (Manu Ginóbili) 来到了《Inside the NBA》的直播间。但随后我也注意到现场有不少前尼克斯球员，比如沃尔特·弗雷泽 (Walt Frazier Jr.)、帕特里克·尤因 (Patrick Ewing)、阿兰·休斯顿 (Allan Houston) 和比利·鲍德温 (Billy Baldwin)。当然，比利·鲍德温并不是尼克斯球员，但鲍德温兄弟实在太多了，你很难说服我他们中没有至少一个人曾在某个时刻为这支球队效力过。是的，我知道（正如底下的图表所示），显然还有其他著名的马刺名宿在场，比如蒂姆·邓肯 (Tim Duncan) 和丹尼·格林 (Danny Green)，但别忘了，我们现在是在过度反应，对吧？所以事实、证据或任何合理的论点在这里都派不上用场。
NBA总决赛第二场瞩目嘉宾
— NBA Communications (@ NBAPR) 2026年6月6日
9. 全美平均汽油价格为每加仑4.22美元。 这一特定的过度反应与篮球有关，因为正如上面第10点所暗示的，由于纽约的生活成本太高，甚至连百万富翁名流和前职业运动员都纷纷涌向圣安东尼奥。
“我把那一球传丢了。我搞砸了……我会后悔吗？是的，当然。我会用它作为动力，在下一场比赛中激励自己和球队吗？绝对会。”
是的，文班亚马，我们希望你确实能用它来加油打气，为下一场比赛提供动力。但我建议你办张会员卡、攒点优惠券什么的，因为现在的油价简直比在比赛还剩大约6分钟、落后14分时险些完成的那场逆转还要疯狂。
8. 卢克·科内特在这支球队承担了太多工作。 让我们来列一列：官方赛前萨尔萨舞者；只要他的脚一沾地，就要抢下所有曾经存在、现在存在、未来存在以及可能存在（是的，甚至包括理论上的篮板）的每一个篮板；封盖他轨道内、轨道外、甚至黑洞里的每一次投篮（是的，我们指望他挑战物理定律，伸进一个连光都无法逃脱的超致密天体——但他最好带着一个盖帽或抢断出来）。而他被要求在每场5到7分钟的上场时间里完成这一切。明白了吗？很好。再来一次！
7. NBA需要更多身为球员父亲兼助理教练的人，在场上与对方球员发生冲突。 我并不是说总决赛期间的干扰因素还不够多，但考虑到娱乐价值以及为了帮大家缓解惨败的痛苦，我觉得我们在这些比赛中需要更多的抓马戏码。我记得马刺过去有那么一位“舅舅”，他可能非常适合在职业运动员的亲属与对方职业运动员之间挑起这种混乱。
6. 修女们该回来了。 我想为我在第一场比赛后说“不需要修女”的话道歉。我们的伙计们现在0-2落后。在这个节骨眼上，我们需要更多的修女、更多的僧侣、更多的绝地武士，以及任何能够将这支球队拉回胜利轨道的非自然力量或宇宙能量。尤达宝宝（古古）才53岁？这意味着他还太年轻，还没来得及与任何一支NBA球队结盟。让我们对尼克斯祭出明星牌，招募佩德罗·帕斯卡 (Pedro Pascal)（他可是圣安东尼奥长大的！），让他去说服古古宣誓效忠马刺，免得麦迪逊广场花园的那些邪恶西斯大帝把魔爪伸向他。
我早已过了震惊、恐慌和愤怒的阶段。我现在处于讨价还价的阶段：如果“原力”能让马刺在纽约的客场拿到两场胜利，那就让我一辈子穿着长袍住在沼泽地的泥屋里吧。我是说，我去过佛罗里达州——我能应付得了。
5. 马刺被宠坏得还不够。
“我们有点像被宠坏的孩子，”他说。“对我们中的一些人来说，这只是我们的第一个赛季，而我们已经打进总决赛了。我们还没有完全意识到这一点。在我看来，最珍惜我们目前处境的球队将会是最终获胜的那支。”
连续三年选中的乐透秀目前都兑现了天赋？无聊。跨越数十年、从未缺席季后赛的稳定卓越标杆中，六次总决赛之旅夺得五冠？等我们拿到十连冠再叫醒我吧。文班亚马在这里说错了。我们需要被宠坏得更彻底。仅仅让其他球队的球迷对我们感到极度厌烦是不够的，这种厌烦必须延伸到其他运动，比如美式橄榄球、足球（对你们这些国内的土包子来说是soccer）、板球，甚至延伸到其他物种，比如海豚、蟋蟀和企鹅。它们都需要因为马刺赢了太多球而感到烦躁。
4. 季后赛留下的伤疤太惨痛了。 是的，当然，俄克拉荷马雷霆队（最新版本）在2024年经历过这一切，当时他们输给了达拉斯独行侠队，直到去年才取得突破。但独行侠队当年也是凭借一支年轻的队伍打进了总决赛！然后他们（查看笔记）输给了波士顿凯尔特人队（最新版本），而后者自己也有一大堆令人心碎的季后赛失利史。对于每一支凭借特定阵容和超级巨星在首次季后赛之旅中就神奇地打进总决赛或接近总决赛的年轻球队（例如雷霆、独行侠、步行者以及这支马刺），总会有另一支带着自己季后赛伤疤的球队，他们要么经验更丰富，要么伤病运气更好（比如纽约尼克斯队）。
这种情况常有，但我不想让它发生。这太折磨精神了。我们能不能不要季后赛的“伤疤”，而是换成季后赛的“小擦伤”、橙子片，或许再来个比里亚塔可？我们还在讨价还价阶段吗？为了换取马刺在纽约客场的两场胜利，我们可以把所有的比里亚塔可都送到曼哈顿，而且我搬去佛罗里达，这样行行好吗？
3. 维克托·文班亚马可能需要隐形眼镜、护目镜、激光近视手术，或者仍饱受首轮脑震荡的后遗症困扰。
“我依然看不太清（打得很迷糊），这就是问题的关键。我需要更加沉着，对比赛有更多的控制力。”
迷糊？ 先生，你需要什么？因为我认识一些有路子的人，能帮你弄到大到让霍勒斯·格兰特 (Horace Grant) 都自愧不如的巨型运动护目镜。我是说，文班亚马的投篮命中率确实达到了52%，相比第一场的29%有了显著提升。所以我猜他所说的“迷糊”是指沉着度和对比赛的掌控力，也就是他在那段话的第二句中所阐述的内容。反正也没人说过除了SAT考试之外阅读理解有多重要。那也太荒谬了。
2. 马刺的成熟度超出了他们的年龄。 说到荒谬，文班亚马在比赛后期的那次失误简直让人抓狂。更让我觉得不可思议的是，文班亚马承担责任和道歉的速度有多快，以及斯蒂芬·卡斯尔 (Stephon Castle) 有多冷静地轻拍他的胸口，（大概是）告诉他没关系，或者（大概是）告诉他这其实是自己的错。这到底是谁的错确实很重要，因为那是一个巨大的失误，但同时它又没那么重要，因为比赛还没有结束，而且他们几乎还是赢了。这里的关键词是“几乎”。但是，你懂我的意思。
我是说，难道要我相信，在NBA该死的总决赛第二场还剩大约10秒时，一个22岁的球员和一个21岁的球员，在他们职业生涯（迄今为止）最重要比赛的最关键时刻，面对如此重大的失误，竟然展现出了如同范·海伦 (Van Halen) 乐队和大卫·李·罗斯 (David Lee Roth) 在恩怨纠葛数十年后重聚般的成熟？
怒吼在哪里？互相推诿在哪里？2018年总决赛期间，勒布朗·詹姆斯 (LeBron James) 摊开双手、难以置信地瞪着 J.R.·史密斯 (J.R. Smith) 的那张经典照片又在哪里？
如果场上的球员在面对失误时都能如此沉着冷静，为什么我们球迷就不能佛系一点呢？因为这就是我们的本色：兄弟，我们已经抓狂了。
1. 非常时期需要非常心态。
“这又不是谁先赢两场就夺冠……我们只需要带着更加孤注一掷的心态去打比赛。”
好的，我非常喜欢这段话，不仅因为它是迪伦·哈珀 (Dylan Harper) 说的，更因为他说得就像他在场上的表现一样具有说服力。球迷们看起来确实挺孤注一掷的。听说在圣安东尼奥的各个街区，都没有听到汽车鸣笛的声音。至少没有与马刺相关的庆祝鸣笛。不过在1604号公路上总有人在按喇叭，因为那里与其说是一条主要高速公路，倒不如说是汽车的大乱斗战场。
至少球员们把心里话大声说出来了。他们必须孤注一掷，因为我们这些沙发球迷早就已经进入这种状态了。
由生成式人工智能翻译，译文内容可能不准确或不完整，以原文为准。
点击查看原文：Top ten overreactions to Game 2 of the NBA Finals
Top ten overreactions to Game 2 of the NBA Finals
I don’t particularly care for people who say, “I’ll be honest with you,” after I’ve had an hour-long conversation with them about their family, work, or the car they’re trying to sell me. So you were lying this whole time? You don’t have two kids, and this car has NO WHEELS? But that being said, I’ll be honest with you: I was fully expecting the San Antonio Spurs to win Game 2 so that on the heels of the overreactions from Game 1, I was hoping to careen in the complete opposite direction and declare this Spurs team the greatest team to ever walk the Earth if that final shot from Victor Wembanyama went through the hoop.
But. We’re here, and I’m committed to the bit. Let’s panic some more.
10. Even the Knicks alums outnumbered the Spurs alum. I saw the great George Gervin sitting behind the great David Robinson, and I saw my personal G.O.A.T. Manu Ginóbili stop by the Inside the NBA booth. But then I also noticed former Knicks players in attendance like Walt Frazier Jr., Patrick Ewing, Allan Houston, and Billy Baldwin. Sure, Billy Baldwin wasn’t a Knick, but there’s so many Baldwin brothers that you can’t tell me that at least one of them suited up for the team at one point or another. And yes, I know (as the graphic below illustrates), apparently there were other notable Spurs alums like Tim Duncan and Danny Green in attendance, but we’re overreacting remember? So facts and evidence or any reasonable arguments have no place here.
— NBA Communications (@ NBAPR) June 6, 2026
9. The average price of gas in the United States is $4.22 per gallon. This particular overreaction is related to basketball because as number 10 above suggests, even millionaire celebrities and former professional athletes are flocking down to San Antonio because the cost of living is so high in New York.
“I threw that one away. I messed up … Am I going to regret it? Yes, of course. Am I gonna use that to fuel me and to fuel us next game? Absolutely.”
Yes, Victor Wembanyama, we hope you do use that to fuel you and fuel your team for the next game. But I suggest a rewards card, coupons, or something because gas prices are more insane than that almost comeback down 14 points with about 6 minutes remaining.
8. Luke Kornet has too many jobs on this team. Let’s list them out: official pregame salsa dancer, grab any and every single rebound that ever existed, did exist, will exist, and might exist (yes, even theoretical rebounds) whenever his feet touches the floor, block every shot in his orbit, beyond his orbit, even ones in black holes (yes, we expect him to defy physics and reach into a super compact astronomical body where even light cannot escape—but he better come back out with a block or a steal). And he’s supposed to do all of this in 5 – 7 minutes per game. Got it? Good. Do it again!
7. The NBA needs more father/assistant coaches of players getting into on-court ruckuses with opposing team players. I’m not saying there’s not enough distractions during a Finals game, but given the entertainment value and to help cope with big losses, I feel like we could use more drama during these games. There’s a certain uncle I remember from the Spurs’ past who would might be suited for such a kerfuffle between relatives adjacent to their family members who happen to be professional athletes and other professional athletes.
6. The nuns are back in. I would like to apologize for what I said about not needing the nuns after Game 1. Our boys are down 0-2. At this point, we need more nuns, more monks, more Jedi, whatever divine intervention or universal power that will will this team back to the victory column. Baby Yoda (Grogu) is only 53 years old? So that means he’s too young to have allied himself with an NBA team yet. Let’s play the celebrity card against the Knickerbockers and recruit Pedro Pascal (who grew up in San Antonio!) to influence Grogu to swear allegiance to the Spurs before those evil Sith Lords from Madison Square Garden sink their claws into him.
I’m waaay past shock, panic, and anger. I’m at the bargaining stage where if “The Force” can get the Spurs two wins on the road in NYC then sign me up for a lifetime of dressing in robes and living in mud huts in the swamp. I mean, I’ve been to Florida—I can handle it.
5. The Spurs are not spoiled enough.
We’re kind of like spoiled kids,” he said. “For some of us, it’s our first season and we’re already in the Finals. We don’t fully realize it yet. And to me, the team that appreciates the position we’re in the most will be the one that wins.”
Three straight lottery picks that are panning out so far? Boring. Five titles in six finals trips that span over a consistent-never-miss-the-playoffs, multi-decade benchmark of excellence? Wake me up when we win ten titles in row. Wembanyama is wrong here. We need to be more spoiled. It’s not enough if the other fan bases become extremely annoyed with us, it needs to extend to other sports like football, fútbol (soccer, for you domestic heathens), cricket, and other species like dolphins, crickets, and penguins. They all need to be annoyed at how much winning the Spurs are obtaining.
4. Playoff scars are too gruesome. Yeah sure, the Oklahoma Thunder (the latest version) went through it in 2024 when they lost to the Dallas Mavericks before breaking through last year. But the Mavericks made it to the Finals that year with a young team! And they (checks notes) lost to the Boston Celtics (the latest version), who had their own long list of heart-breaking playoff losses. For every young team that magically made it to the Finals or close to getting to the finals on their first run with a specific squad and superstar (e.g., Thunder, Mavericks, Pacers, these Spurs), there was another team with their own playoff scars that were either more experienced or had better injury luck (like the New York Knicks).
It happens, but I don’t want it happen. It’s mentally taxing. Instead of playoff scars, can we just get playoff “boo boos,” orange slices, and maybe a birria taco? Are we still at the bargaining stage? In exchange for two wins on the road in NYC for the Spurs, can we send all the birria tacos to Manhattan AND I’ll move to Florida?
3. Victor Wembanyama might need contacts, goggles, LASIK, or is still suffering from that concussion from round 1.
“I’m still very blurry, and that’s the whole problem. I need to have more poise, more control over the game.”
Blurry? Sir, what do you need because I know people who know people who can get you giant sports goggles so big that it would make Horace Grant blush. I mean Wembanyama did shoot 52% from the field, which was a marked improvement from Game 1’s 29% field goal percentage. So I guess when he meant “blurry” he was talking about poise and control over the game, the very thing he elaborated on in the second sentence of that quote. No one said reading comprehension was important outside of the SATs anyway. That would be insane.
2. The Spurs are too mature for their age. Speaking of insanity, that late turnover by Wembanyama was complete bonkers. What made it more crazy for me was how quickly Wembanyama accepted responsibility, apologized, and also how calmly Stephon Castle dapped him in the chest and (presumably) told him it’s OK, or to presumably tell him that it was actually his fault. It matters whose fault it is because it was a huge blunder, but it also didn’t matter because the game wasn’t over, and they almost won it anyway. ALMOST BEING THE OPERATIVE WORD. But. You get what I’m saying.
I mean what, I’m supposed to believe that with about 10 seconds left in Game 2 of the NBA freakin’ Finals that a 22 year old and a 21 year old handled that big of a turnover during the most crucial part of the most important game they’ve ever played (so far) in their professional lives with the maturity of Van Halen and David Lee Roth reuniting after decades of animosity?
Where’s the yelling? Where’s the blame game? Where is that photo of LeBron James with two arms outstretched as he incredulously gawks at J.R. Smith during the 2018 Finals?
If the actual players on the floor are more poised and calm even in the face of mistakes, why couldn’t us fans be as zen? Because that’s what we do: we’re freaking out, man.
1. Desperate times call for desperate mentalities.
“It’s not the first to win two … We just have to come out with a mentality of just being more desperate.”
OK so I really like this quote not because Dylan Harper said it but because Dylan Harper said it as convincingly as his play on the court has been. The fans seem pretty desperate. I’m told no car horns were honked throughout the burrows of San Antonio. At least Spurs-related honking. There’s always honking on 1604 because it’s more of a mosh pit for cars than a major highway.
At least the players are saying the quiet part out loud. They have to be desperate because us couch riders are already there.
By Son Trinh, via Pounding The Rock