By Charlie Thaddeus | Pounding The Rock (PtR), 2026-03-31 16:04:59
我现在的脑子正处于一种狂热且亢奋的状态，基本上每隔五分钟就会以各种方式想到马刺。我们正在推演季后赛的各种剧本和对阵情况；我们在思考那些惊人的历史背景；我们还在开发各种开创性的新方法，试图以此贬低对手的成功。伟大的“季后赛狂欢”即将降临！朋友们，欢呼吧，颤抖吧，并为此做好准备。
然而，当我们继续艰难地向这场不可避免的清算迈进时，我们发现自己面对着最奇怪的景象。真实、实打实的篮球比赛。一场比赛。就在我们眼前。用我们的双眼去见证。多么奇怪，多么令人好奇。看到我们痴迷的对象并不是在与天上的诸神进行某种奇幻战斗，而是在这里，在凡间，与平庸的凡人交手。在一个周一的晚上。在 Peacock 平台上。
听着，我不想啰嗦：这场比赛平淡得几乎可以忽略不计。赌注很低，竞争也不激烈。从头到尾，从上到下，这场比赛对我来说几乎没有任何波澜。抱歉。
这不是任何人的错。好吧，公牛队有一点点责任，但他们已经处于低谷了，不需要我再在这里落井下石。这只是一支强队在实力上碾压了一支弱队。
我显然是在投射自己的感受，但感觉马刺队似乎也同样分心了。不是坏事。我并不是说他们在职业态度上不专注。我相信他们为这场比赛做了准备并认真对待，最终的比分就是证明。
不，我的意思是他们看起来异常亢奋。甚至有点手忙脚乱。你见过一个表现乖巧的孩子喝了点冰淇淋后的样子吗？他们不会突然变坏，但你可以看到他们的整个身体都在兴奋得发抖。他们坐不住。他们正聊着书里的恐龙，但你听过 KPop 恶魔猎人吗？他们真的很喜欢《Golden》，他们要去骑自行车，还要看他们在学校画的画，他的朋友很喜欢，但这画是他画的，而且是蓝色的。
这就是马刺在上半场给我的感觉。不坏，但就是……有点乱。每个人都冲进禁区，把球狠狠地砸向篮板。他们满场飞奔，推快节奏。他们在防守端很有侵略性，但几乎有点过头了。当然，比死气沉沉的公牛进攻所需要的侵略性要强得多。他们在篮板球上痛扁了芝加哥，纯粹是因为他们忍不住要去抓每一个能抓到的东西。这很狂野。虽然谈不上多么“好”，但已经足够好了。而且很有趣。看着他们在场上有点发疯的样子，我玩得很开心。
正如所料
@ FanDuelSN_SW, @ NBAonNBC pic.twitter.com/g4bye63X7z
— 圣安东尼奥马刺 – x (@ spurs) 2026年3月31日
这是一支注定要成就伟大的球队，目前却被琐碎的日常所束缚。正确且成熟的做法应该是，我不确定，大概是深呼吸吧。停顿一下，欣赏沿途的风景。我们都等了很久才回到这个位置，何必着急呢？随遇而安，或者随它去吧。这是坐在山顶上优雅的智者会传授的教诲。
是的。*呼气*
我想那艘船可能已经起航了。我想我们已经准备好大干一场了。
这场比赛可能对任何人或任何事都无关紧要，但我们的伙计维克托·文班亚马 (Victor Wembanyama) 依然上场在他们头上狂砍 40 分，同时创下了 NBA 历史上最快的两双纪录。他依然在奋力将那些离谱的投篮扇在篮板上，脸上带着一种厌恶的神情，甚至让我都想向他道歉。他在投后撤步三分。他在接单脚起跳的空中接力。他在补进自己的投篮。他把这场比赛当成了个人道场，在对最终 Boss（无论那是谁）发起最后总攻前继续升级。
伙计们，这一刻快到了。我们能感觉到。兴奋感正在积聚，越来越难以保持冷静，越来越难以控制情绪。我们梦想了 10 年的一切就在眼前，就在转角处。
你还记得季后赛比赛日的感觉吗？盯着教室或办公室的墙壁，假装在听讲或工作，其实根本停不下来查看时间？把你的一天、一周乃至整个生活都围绕着开球时间来安排？
你还记得输球后连续两天感到胃部不适的感觉吗？你还记得赢球后那种飘飘然的感觉吗？你还记得在 Valero 加油站买咖啡时的心情吗？这一切都在发生。我们回来了。有时感觉我们可能永远回不来了，但嘿，看看我们。谁能想到呢？
我们很接近了。非常接近。音乐已经响起。烤架已经点燃。饮料已经冰好。我简直不敢相信他们居然还要让我们再打七场这种无聊的比赛。
但嘿，这些都是好孩子。他们现在可能有点坐立不安，但他们很快就会把房间收拾干净的。
毕竟，他们还得去参加派对呢。
要点总结
- 我对维克托·文班亚马 (Victor Wembanyama) 如此认真对待 MVP 这件事感到有些担忧。听着，我支持他。我认为他就是 MVP。我今年看了他所有的比赛吗？是的。我一共看过大概 10 场卢卡 (Luka)、谢伊 (Shai) 或约基奇 (Jokic) 的比赛吗？当然。但我听了足够多的相关播客，足以自信地称自己为专家吗？绝对是的。所以，凭借这些赋予我的权威，我准备宣布竞争结束。文班，你是我心目中的 MVP。恭喜你。
- 现在，能不能稍微冷静一点？这真的不是什么大不了的事。坦白说，如果你没拿到这个奖，对我个人的叙事目的反而更好，这样我们就可以把整个季后赛变成一场大规模的复仇之旅，而不是在电视直播颁奖环节时感到尴尬——那时候我们可能正坐在家里看分区决赛之类的。太可怕了！话虽如此，我的伙计似乎在额外的动力下表现得更好，所以也许我该闭嘴！
- 我知道这几乎已经成了一个陈词滥调，但我永远不会厌倦教练在比赛开始一分钟左右就叫暂停。每次都很有感觉。我总是点头表示赞同，心想：“没错，米切尔 (Mitchell)。告诉他们把魂儿找回来。”这让我觉得自己也是其中的一份子。
- 我时刻被凯尔登·约翰逊 (Keldon Johnson) 的投篮机制所吸引和迷惑。我完全无法理解那是怎么回事。它谈不上好坏。在我极其业余的眼光看来，它就是……很古怪。就像他把球拉回到脑后的距离超出了必要，然后像投石机一样把球甩向篮筐。每次球传到他手里出现空位三分机会时，我的心都会提到嗓子眼，就像踩空了台阶一样。然后，通常情况下，那该死的球居然进了。他的三分命中率大约是 38%。产量不算大，但也足够让他获得这些机会并必须出手。而且他投进了！它看起来就是很奇怪！迷惑。我被迷惑了。
迈向四月，就像这样
pic.twitter.com/twUGh0YKeH
— 圣安东尼奥马刺 – x (@ spurs) 2026年3月31日
WWL 赛后新闻发布会
你已经在计划如何在这里应对季后赛了吗？
我正在计划，从某种意义上说，我尝试开始思考写一些关于季后赛的东西，然后我的大脑就变得如此不知所措，以至于我不得不停下来。
这感觉像是你在季后赛开始前想要解决的问题。
好吧，是的。当然。我会去解决它的。好建议。
抱歉，只是想帮帮忙。
我认为季后赛会很有趣，而乐趣的一部分就在于我们都可以对此表现得过于戏剧化。这是生死攸关。天堂与地狱。巴比伦空中花园！在 Amazon Prime 上为您直播！就像，这是世界上最愚蠢的需要被认真对待的事情，然而，我们必须坚持下去。
“必须”这个词在这里承担了很多分量。
确实，这是一个承重动词。
由生成式 AI 翻译，译文内容可能不准确或不完整，以原文为准。
点击查看原文：What We Learned from the Spurs win over the Bulls
What We Learned from the Spurs win over the Bulls
My mind is currently operating in a feverish, euphoric state that’s basically thinking about the Spurs one way or another every five minutes. We’re in there gaming out playoff scenarios and matchups. We’re pondering outrageous historical context. We’re building groundbreaking and innovative new ways to discredit the success of our enemies. The great Playoff Rapture is almost upon us! Rejoice, tremble, and atone accordingly, my friends.
And yet, as we continue to scrape and claw our way towards this inevitable reckoning, we find ourselves confronted with the strangest of sights. Real, actual basketball. A game. Right there in front of us. To watch with our eyes. How odd. How curious. To see the objects of our fascination engaged not in some fantastical battle with the gods on high but, instead, down here amongst the lowly mortals. On a Monday night. On Peacock.
Look, I’m not going to belabor the point: that game was about as close to a non-event as I can imagine. The stakes were low. The competition was not fierce. Top to bottom, start to finish, this one really did almost nothing for me. Sorry.
It’s no one’s fault. Okay, it’s a little bit the Bulls’ fault, but they don’t need me in here kicking them while they’re down. This was just a good team outclassing a bad one.
I’m obviously projecting my own feelings here, but it felt like the Spurs were similarly distracted. Not in a bad way. I don’t mean to imply that they were unfocused in any professional capacity. I believe they prepared and took this game seriously, as evidenced by the final score.
No, what I mean is more that they seemed hyper. A little frantic. Have you ever seen a well-behaved kid get a little ice cream in their system and all of a sudden they don’t start behaving badly, but you can see their entire being start rattling at the seams? They can’t sit still. They’re talking about dinosaurs from their book but have you heard about KPop Demon Hunters, they really like Golden, they’re going to ride their bike, also look at this picture they drew at school, their friend liked it but they drew it and it’s blue.
That’s how the Spurs looked to me in the first half. Not bad, but just…all over the place. Everyone was barreling into the lane and rocketing the ball up against the glass. They were flinging the ball up the court and pushing the pace. They were aggressive on defense, but almost too aggressive. Certainly way more aggressive than the listless Bulls offense warranted. They clobbered Chicago on the boards simply because they couldn’t not go grab every little thing they could. It was wild. It wasn’t, you know, good. But it was good enough. And it was fun. I had fun watching them go a little nuts out there.
just as planned
— San Antonio Spurs – x (@ spurs) March 31, 2026
This is a team destined for greatness that’s currently saddled with the mundane. The proper and mature thing to do would be to, I don’t know, take measured breaths, I guess. Take a beat and enjoy the scenery. We’ve all waited a long time to get back to this point, why rush it? Peace be the journey or whatever. This is what the wise sage delicately sitting upon the mountaintop would preach.
Yeah. *exhales*
I think the ship has maybe sailed on that one. I think we’re ready to rock.
This game may have been of little consequence to anyone or anything, but our guy Victor still went out there and dropped a 40 piece on their heads while recording the fastest double-double in NBA history. He was still vigorously swatting errant shots into the backboard with a look of disgust on his face that almost made me want to apologize. He’s hitting step-back threes. He’s catching one-foot alley-oops. He’s tipping in his own shots. He’s used this game like a personal dojo to continue leveling up before his final assault on the Final Boss, whoever that may be.
It’s almost here, you guys. We can feel it. The excitement’s building and it’s getting harder and harder to keep everything in perspective. To keep it under control. Everything we’ve dreamed about for 10 years is looming, right there, just around the corner.
Do you remember that feeling of a playoff game day? Staring at the walls of your class or your job, pretending to listen because you can’t stop checking what time it is? Orienting your whole day, week, and life around tip-off?
Do you remember feeling sick to your stomach for two days straight after a loss? Do you remember walking on air after a win? Do you remember getting coffee at a Valero? It’s all happening. We’re back. It sometimes felt like we might never be back, but hey, look at us. Who would’ve thought?
We’re close. So close. The music’s bumping. The grill’s fired up. The drinks are cold. I can’t believe they’re making us do seven more of these stupid things.
But hey, these are good kids. They might be bouncing off the walls a little bit here and there, but they’re gonna get the room picked up in no time.
After all, they’ve got a party to get to.
Takeaways
- I’m a little wary of how seriously Victor seems to be taking this MVP thing. Look, I’m on board. I think he’s the MVP. Have I watched all of his games this year? Yes. Have I watched a combined total of maybe 10 Luka/Shai/Jokic games? I mean, sure. But have I listened to enough podcasts about it to confidently call myself an expert? A resounding yes. So, with all the authority that grants me, I’m prepared to declare the race over. Vic, you are the MVP of my heart. Congratulations.
- Now, maybe settle down just a bit? It’s really not that big a deal. Frankly, it’s better for my personal narrative purposes if you don’t win it, so we can spend the entire playoffs on a massive revenge tour instead of stressing about the embarrassment of you getting handed a trophy during a TV segment while we’re at home watching the conference finals or something. The horror! That being said, my guy does seem to be thriving on the extra motivation so maybe I’ll just be quiet!
- I know it’s like, almost a cliche at this point, but I will never get tired of the coach calling a timeout like one minute into the game. Hits every time. I always nod along like, “That’s right, Mitchell. Tell them to get their heads right.” Makes me feel like I’m a part of things.
- I’m fascinated and beguiled by Keldon Johnson’s jump shot mechanics at every turn. I simply cannot wrap my head around what’s going on with it. It’s not bad or good or anything. To my extremely untrained eye, it just looks…funky. It’s like he takes the ball way further back over his head than is necessary and then launches it like a trebuchet off towards the hoop. Every time the ball swings to him for an open three my stomach sort of leaps up into my chest like I stepped out over a ledge or something. Then, more often than not, the dang thing goes in. He’s shooting something like 38% from three. Not on a huge volume, but enough to where he’s getting those shots and has to take them. And he’s hitting them! It just looks weird! Beguiled. I am beguiled.
heading into April like
— San Antonio Spurs – x (@ spurs) March 31, 2026
WWL Post Game Press Conference
Are you already planning out how to approach playoff games on here?
I’m planning it out in the sense that I try to start thinking about writing something about a playoff game and my brain gets so overwhelmed that I have to stop.
That feels like something you might want to fix before the playoffs get here.
Well, yeah. Sure. I’ll just go fix it. Good call.
Sorry, just trying to be helpful.
I think the playoffs are going to be fun and I think part of the fun is the thing where we all get to be overly dramatic about it. It’s life or death. Heaven and Hell. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon! Coming to you live on Amazon Prime! Like, it’s the silliest thing in the world to be taking seriously and yet, we must persist.
The word “must” is doing a lot of work there.
It’s a load bearing verb, for sure.
By Charlie Thaddeus, via Pounding The Rock