By Charlie Thaddeus | Pounding The Rock (PtR), 2025-11-24 17:03:33
关于狄龙·布鲁克斯 (Dillon Brooks)，最糟糕的一点就是，他那套把戏偏偏还真管用。你知道他干的那套，就是让自己表现得像个十足的混蛋？每场比赛的每一秒都是如此？我恨透了。我恨这玩意儿能轻易惹恼我。我恨他就是想惹恼我，而且不费吹灰之力就得逞了。我恨他只要一出场，我的心情就莫名其妙地变差。但最主要的是，我恨自己竟然会这么恨他。我尤其痛恨的是，昨晚，他在下半场站了出来，像《魔宫传奇》里的那家伙一样，把手伸进我们的胸膛，掏出了我们仍在跳动的心脏，然后将我们扔进痛苦的火坑。
比赛还剩大约4分钟时，我坐在那儿生闷气。真的，整个人都快被怒火腌入味了。太阳队领先11分，他们打得有多顺，马刺就打得有多糟。与其说球队正在分崩离析，不如说它早已土崩瓦解，而我们现在都只能呆坐着，眼睁睁看着这片狼藉，任由一群家伙在上面继续践踏。布克 (Booker) 完成了一次漂亮的突破分球，传给了布鲁克斯，后者正移动到自己的舒适区——我猜，昨晚整个球馆都是他的舒适区。他接到球，立刻用他那本不该奏效的投篮动作出手，稳稳命中，拿下了他当晚的第23分。米奇教练叫了暂停，镜头切给了正在回防的布鲁克斯，他脸上的那个表情，让我的灵魂当场枯萎、死亡。我关掉了比赛，走到外面，对着月亮可能呆望了3个小时。
如果你没看这场直播，那就去搜搜看！出于原则，我拒绝在这里附上链接，但你会震惊于那个表情是多么平常。多么微不足道。多么云淡风轻。他什么都没做。这真让我恶心！那不过是，嗯，一丝微笑。如果你眯着眼看，或许算是一抹得意的假笑。光是想到这个，我就想昏死过去。就好像他知道我的一个秘密，并且正因为知道我就在某个地方、心态逐渐崩溃而沾沾自喜。
马刺其实是以正确的方式开启这场比赛的。他们打得积极，拼抢篮板，走上罚球线，并在太阳队怎么也投不进球的时候建立起了领先优势。布鲁克斯开场甚至没做什么。他手感冰冷。在我脑海里，我已经在构思如何用这篇文章来埋葬他了。我本打算通宵达旦，兴高采烈地为“狄龙·布鲁克斯”这个概念本身写一篇讣告。我的喜悦之情是如此强烈，以至于我可能忽略了某些东西。一丝震颤。一种氛围的转变。一次*《碟中谍》*式的揭面—— “篮球打得烂的狄龙·布鲁克斯” 撕下他的面具，露出的真面目竟然是，今晚，他是 “篮球打得好的狄龙·布鲁克斯” 。太可怕了！
理论上，我知道太阳队是如何夺回领先优势的，但我仍然没完全搞懂。当然，布克开始发威了。他向来如此。当然，马刺队失误不断。他们也向来如此。但关键是布鲁克斯。是他找到了自己的节奏，让我彻底崩溃。那种信手拈来的从容。他甚至没玩任何经典的布鲁克斯式鬼把戏。他没有对着任何人喷垃圾话，也没有什么恶劣的犯规。除了在场上用一种慢慢榨干我主队生命力的方式执行他的比赛计划外，他没有以任何外在的方式扮演挑衅者的角色。这简直是一场噩梦。
输给一个伟大的球员是一回事。比如，斯蒂芬·库里 (Steph Curry) 在你头上连砍两个40+，你多半也只能脱帽致敬。库里没问题。他很棒。他对我来说无所谓。但狄龙·布鲁克斯是我真心不喜欢的人。我不喜欢他打球的方式。我不喜欢他乐在其中的挑衅。我觉得，一个人决定要扮演一个，比如说，比德雷蒙德·格林 (Draymond Green) 更烦人的角色，这简直是近乎精神变态，可能需要被拿去研究一下。此时此刻，我想不出还有什么比输给一场表现出色的狄龙·布鲁克斯，事后却找不到任何真正有分量的黑点来抱怨更糟糕的了。看看我。看看我变成了什么样子！我坐在这里抱怨自己没什么可抱怨的！我活该掉进这个火坑。这几乎是我自己选择待在这里的！
听着，这是个糟糕的夜晚。从个人层面，作为一名马刺球迷，这简直是糟透了。如果我能给你画一张完美的“观看马刺比赛”糟糕体验图，那它看起来几乎就和昨晚一模一样。如果你看了这场比赛，那么无论如何，来我家后院加入我吧。我会打印出这场比赛的数据统计单，然后把它们扔进垃圾桶里点燃，直到马刺下一场比赛开始，希望能以此驱逐那些无疑已经缠上我们的恶魔。
如果你没有“幸”观赏这场比赛，那么我求你了，现在就走开。别看任何集锦。别去想它超过一秒钟。别让这种邪恶像感染我一样感染你。我们这个球迷群体，越早忘记这场“菲尼克斯噩梦”越好。我敢肯定，太阳队在他们主场升起那面“狄龙·布鲁克斯把查理烦到精神失常”的旗帜不会对我们有任何帮助，但无论如何，我们都得尽力去克服。
赛后观察：
- 通常情况下，我总能这样自我安慰：好吧，如果我们有文班亚马在场，那么这一切都会有所不同。但这不过是杯水车薪的慰藉，昨晚我们甚至连这点简单的恩典都未被赐予。我们看过这支同样的太阳队在今年早些时候把文班搅得天翻地覆，给我们赛季火热的开局浇了一盆冷水。还记得那场吗？就是那场让我们所有人都从狂热的梦境中惊醒，意识到马刺本赛季并不会82胜0负并彻底革新我们所知的篮球的那场？我记得。伙计们，菲尼克斯是个不祥之地，我建议马刺不惜一切代价避开它。
- 与太阳队交手的一部分难题在于，他们打得非常强硬，非常有身体对抗。如你所想，我极不情愿提及这一点，因为这很可能是给球队注入了狄龙·布鲁克斯能量的直接后果，但事已至此，我们还在讨论这场愚蠢的比赛，所以我猜我必须得提。马刺并非没有身体对抗，但我认为他们确实很难匹配太阳队所展现出的强度。这完全不是一个科学的观点，但马刺的身体对抗性（尤其是在文班和卡斯尔缺阵的情况下）植根于像凯尔登和索汉这样的球员，他们给球队带来的是一种善意、欢快且略带顽皮的混乱。大多数时候这很棒，而且坦白说，我很享受观看。但这也不足以对抗布鲁克斯施加给周围每个人的那种邪恶、扭曲且恶毒的野蛮。你必须跟他一起在泥潭里打滚，在他的层面上战斗，而我不知道圣安东尼奥目前是否具备这种模式。
- 也许以后每场比赛后我都会直接写一条观察，内容就是“失误”，然后就此打住，因为关于这个我们还能多说什么呢？电影*《大话王》*里有一幕，金·凯瑞的秘书告诉他一个客户刚打来电话。那个客户又抢了一台ATM机，这次是持刀抢劫，需要凯瑞的法律建议。他当时的反应，和我被问及马刺如何减少失误时的反应惊人地相似。
- 我很高兴我们每年都推出一款灰色球衣，因为这是对我们酷炫的Fiesta城市版球衣的一种重要制衡。如果我们所有的球衣都那么好看，那我们可能会开始吸引一些圈外人成为赢球蜜马刺球迷，而那是绝对不行的。
WWL赛后新闻发布会
– 我觉得你在这些仪式中，真的越来越倾向于一种体育圈周边的异教崇拜了。
– 你什么意思？
– 我不知道，与月亮交流？通过火来驱魔？也许“异教崇拜”这个词用得不对，但你似乎在触及一些更……怎么说呢，有点像女巫神秘学的东西。
– 没错。我认为这最终还是回到了控制权的问题上。作为球迷，体育比赛的走向是我们完全无法控制的，所以尝试在精神层面上与它们交流感觉很自然。我显然不能穿上队服替补上场为马刺打个十二分钟，但我可以与一轮新月展开对话，并试图理解她的秘密。我们可以相互汲取能量，为成长设定意图，并显化我们对未来的计划。
– 你认为月亮能帮上忙？
– 我认为月亮能做很多事，当然，但它能做的最主要的事情，就是给我一些除了狄龙·布鲁克斯之外可以思考的东西。
– 月亮可比狄龙·布鲁克斯有意思多了。
– 如果我们今天学到了什么的话，我很确定就是这一点。
由生成式人工智能翻译，译文内容可能不准确或不完整，以原文为准。
点击查看原文：What We Learned from the Spurs loss to the Suns
What We Learned from the Spurs loss to the Suns
The very worst thing about Dillon Brooks is that his whole schtick works. You know that thing he does where he’s just the worst? Every second of every game? I hate that. I hate that it gets under my skin. I hate that he wants to get under my skin and then succeeds without even trying. I hate that all he has to do is show up and I’m suddenly in a bad mood. Mostly, I hate that I hate it. I especially hate that, last night, he came out in the 2nd half, reached into our chest like that guy in Temple of Doom, and ripped out our still-beating heart before lowering us into a fiery pit of misery.
With about 4 minutes left in the game, I was sitting there stewing. Like, really marinating in it. The Suns were up 11 and were doing as many things right as the Spurs were doing wrong. It wasn’t falling apart so much as it had already fallen apart and now we were all sitting around staring at the mess while a bunch of dudes continued to stomp around in it. Booker executed a neat little drive and kick out to Brooks, who was shifting right into his comfort zone which, I guess, last night was anywhere in the building. He caught it and went right into his shooting motion that shouldn’t work and drained it for his 23rd point of the night. Mitch called a timeout and the camera cut to Brooks backpedaling down the court with a look on his face that made my soul wither and die right there on the spot. I turned the game off, walked outside, and stared at the moon for maybe 3 hours.
If you didn’t watch this live then go look it up! I refuse to link to it here on principle, but you will be shocked at how normal it is. How inconsequential. How casual. He’s not doing anything. It makes me sick! It’s just, like, a little smile. A smirk if you squint. Just thinking about it makes me want to fall into a coma. It was like he knew a secret about me and was delighting in simply knowing I was out there, somewhere, unravelling.
The Spurs actually started this game the right way. They were active, they were rebounding, they were getting to the line, and they built a lead while the Suns couldn’t buy a basket. Brooks wasn’t even doing much early. He was ice cold. In my head I was already using this space to bury him. I was going to stay up all night gleefully writing an obituary for the very concept of Dillon Brooks. Such was my glee that I maybe missed something. A tremor. A vibe shift. A Mission Impossible style mask reveal where Bad at Basketball Dillon Brooks ripped away his mask to reveal that actually, tonight, he was Good at Basketball Dillon Brooks. The horror!
In theory, I know how the Suns got the lead back, but I still don’t totally get it. Booker got rolling, sure. He’s wont to do that. The Spurs kept giving the ball away, sure. They’re wont to do that as well. It was Brooks though. It was him finding his rhythm that unglued me. The casual competence of it all. He wasn’t even doing any of his classic Brooksian shenanigans. He wasn’t really barking in anyone’s face or egregiously fouling people. He wasn’t acting the provocateur in any outward way beyond simply executing his game on the court in a way that slowly sucked the life out of my favorite team. It was a nightmare.
Losing to a great player is one thing. Like, Steph Curry drops consecutive forty spots on your dome and you just sort of tip your cap to it. Steph’s fine. He’s great. He’s nothing to me. Dillon Brooks is someone I genuinely don’t like. I don’t like the way he plays the game. I don’t like the way he trolls with delight. I think someone deciding to take on the mantle of, say, an even more annoying Draymond Green is borderline psychotic and probably needs to be studied. At the moment, I can’t think of anything worse than losing to a great Dillon Brooks performance without having anything legitimately juicy to complain about afterwards. Look at me. Look at what I’ve become! I’m sitting here complaining about not having anything to complain about! I deserve to be in this fiery pit. I’ve practically chosen to be here!
Look, it was a bad night. On an individual level, as a Spurs fan, it was just the worst. If I could draw you a diagram of a perfectly terrible “Watching the Spurs” experience, it would look almost exactly like this. If you watched this game, then by all means, come join me in my backyard where I will have printed out stat sheets from this game that I’m going to be throwing into a garbage can and lighting on fire until the Spurs play again in hopes of exorcising the demons who have surely glommed onto us.
If you didn’t have the pleasure of watching then please, I beg you, walk away right now. Don’t watch any highlights. Don’t think about it for more than a second. Don’t let this evil infect you the way it has me. The sooner we, as a fanbase, can forget about this Phoenician Nightmare the better. I’m sure the “Dillon Brooks Annoyed Charlie to the Point of Insanity” banner the Suns raise in their area isn’t going to help anything, but we’re going to have to try our best anyway.
Takeaways:
- Normally it’s a cold comfort to think to myself, well, if we simply had Wembanyama out there then this would’ve all gone down differently, but no, we weren’t even granted that simple grace last night. We watched this same Suns team put Wemby in a blender earlier this year and dump cold water all over our hot start to the season. Remember that one? The one where we all had to snap out of our fever dream and realize that the Spurs weren’t going to go 82–0 this year and revolutionize basketball as we know it? I remember. Phoenix is a bad place, you guys, annd I recommend the Spurs avoid it at all costs.
- Part of the deal with the Suns is that they just play really physical and really tough. As you can imagine, I am loath to mention this because it’s probably a direct result of injecting their team with the energy of Dillon Brooks, but here we are, still hanging out and talking about this silly game so I guess I have to bring it up. The Spurs aren’t unphysical, but I think they do have a hard time matching what the Suns bring to the table. This is not a scientific take at all, but the Spurs’ physicality (especially with Wemby and Castle out) is rooted in guys like Keldon and Sochan who bring a sort of benevolent, jubilant, and puckish brand of chaos to the mix. That’s great most of the time and, frankly, I enjoy watching it. It’s also not going to cut it against the evil, twisted, and malevolent brutishness Brooks inflicts on everyone in the vicinity. You have to get down in the muck with him and fight on his level, and I don’t know if San Antonio possesses that mode at present.
- Probably going to just start including a Takeaway after every game that just says “Turnovers” and then leaving it there because what else do we even need to say about it? There’s a scene in the movie Liar Liar where Jim Carrey’s secretary tells him that a client just called. That client had knocked over another ATM, this time at knifepoint, and needs Carrey’s legal advice. His response is eerily similar to mine when asked about how the Spurs can cut down on turning the ball over.
- I’m glad we keep rolling out a grey jersey every year because it’s an important counterbalance to how cool the Fiesta jerseys are. If all of our jerseys looked good then we might start having people outside the circle of trust becoming bandwagon Spurs fans, and that simply would not do.
WWL Post Game Press Conference
– I feel like you’re really leaning into a sort of sports adjacent paganism with some of these rituals.
– What do you mean?
– I don’t know, communing with the Moon? Exorcising demons via fire? Maybe paganism is the wrong word, but you seem to be tapping into something a little more… vaguely witchy, I guess.
– Sure. I think that just comes back to control. Sports are so inherently out of our control as fans that it feels natural to try and commune with them on a spiritual plane. I obviously can’t suit up and give the Spurs twelve minutes off the bench, but I can enter into a dialect with a waxing crescent Moon and try to understand her secrets. We can feed off each other’s energies, set intentions for growth, and manifest our plans for the future.
– And you think the Moon can help with that?
– I think the Moon can do a lot of things, sure, but the main thing it can do is give me something to think about that isn’t Dillon Brooks.
– The Moon is a lot more fun than Dillon Brooks
– If we’ve learned anything at all today, I’m pretty sure it’s that.
By Charlie Thaddeus, via Pounding The Rock