By Elise Devlin | The Athletic, 2026-06-03 09:30:14
本文是《The Athletic》旗下关注运动心理学专栏“Peak”的一部分。点击此处订阅 Peak 简报。
维克托·文班亚马 (Victor Wembanyama) 与圣安东尼奥马刺队的队友们并肩坐在替补席上。看着球队在 NBA 季后赛中锁定对波特兰开拓者队的胜利，他显然情绪激动。
赛后，一位法国记者问文班亚马，为什么他认为运动员往往很难表达自己的感受。
“就我个人而言，”文班亚马说，“我拒绝背负必须隐藏情绪的包袱。”
当密歇根大学教授、《卓越之路》（“The Way of Excellence”）一书的作者布拉德·斯图尔伯格 (Brad Stulberg) 听到这番话时，他立刻想到了自己所说的“冷漠流行病”。在这种文化背景下，极度在乎一件事可能会被误认为是软弱，而情感的投入也往往被视为需要隐藏的东西。
在斯图尔伯格看来，这正是文班亚马的回答脱颖而出的原因。
斯图尔伯格在密歇根大学公共卫生学院工作，他在那里研究、撰写并教授关于人类表现的课程。而文班亚马是一个特别引人入胜的研究案例。
这位来自法国的7英尺4英寸中锋，在进入 NBA 的短短第三个赛季就已成为联盟最耀眼的超级巨星之一。他是通过真情流露来做到这一点的，包括在带领马刺队杀入 NBA 总决赛后流下热泪。
在斯图尔伯格看来，这凸显了一个更宏大的观点。他表示，许多人会说服自己并不像实际上那样在乎某件事，以此希望在事情搞砸时能减轻打击。
但他认为这与其说是自信，不如说是自我保护，或者他所称的“自带障碍”。他说，问题在于，保护自己免受失败或评判的伤害，往往意味着保留实力，无法付出百分之百的努力。
他将文班亚马乐于公开表达在乎的态度视为一种竞争优势。这种优势并不一定在于展现情绪本身，而是在于拒绝浪费精力去隐藏情绪。
“太多的运动员以及普通人，都把大量的时间和精力花在维持一种虚假的外表上——他们认为自己应该表现得怎样，或者别人会怎么看他们，”斯图尔伯格说，“这纯粹是浪费时间和精力，而这些本可以用于竞争。允许自己真正毫无保留地去拼搏吧。我认为，甚至有许多精英运动员都在以这种方式自我设限。”
文班亚马曾表示，他会疏导失望、嫉妒、愤怒和激情。他没有试图去扮演某种特定的角色，而是顺从自己的感受，拥抱真实的自我。
斯图尔伯格表示，优秀的表演者或运动员通常会培养出心理学家所说的“心理灵活性”（psychological flexibility）——即能够体验各种情绪，而不会被其中任何一种所困扰。从本质上讲，就是避免冲动行事。
“这是许多精英选手所具备的能力，”他说，“他们拥有一个装满各种动力源的巨大工具箱，并且能够将特定的动力与当下时刻或需求相匹配。”
挑战在于，要认清某种特定的情绪何时在提供帮助，又在何时开始起反作用。
而这正是文班亚马仍在学习掌握的平衡。
斯图尔伯格举了文班亚马在季后赛第二轮因肘击明尼苏达森林狼队中锋纳兹·里德 (Naz Reid) 而被驱逐出场的例子。当情绪失控时，同样能激发表现的强烈情感也会变成一种累赘。斯图尔伯格建议采用一些小仪式，比如深呼吸或默念一句简短的话，来打断本能的情绪反应，让自己有机会做出更好的应对。
“这是在练习做出‘应对’，而非‘反应’，”他说，“‘反应’是鲁莽且充满情绪化的，而‘应对’则更加深思熟虑。”
潜在的益处不仅限于个人表现。
当一支球队最好的球员公开展现出他有多么在乎时，这就等于允许其他人也这样做。斯图尔伯格说，信任是通过真实性建立起来的。正如展现脆弱能加深友谊和人际关系一样，它也能通过建立更深层次的纽带来凝聚团队。
在斯图尔伯格看来，这一启示同样超越了篮球本身。这种敢于去在乎的意愿可以丰富人生体验，并最终通往他所说的“宏大且有质感的生活”。
在他看来，这样做的代价也许是低谷时会更痛苦，但巅峰时也会更痛快。这是拥有更丰盈情感生活的代价。
他认为，自我保留不仅牺牲了成长和潜力，还牺牲了成就感、亲密感和爱，而这一切仅仅是为了换取暂时的安全感和舒适感。他称这种妥协为一个陷阱。
“你既可以按部就功，表面上看起来很酷，实则枯燥乏味，”他说，“也可以步入竞技场，倾其所有，深切关怀，展现脆弱，并充分享受你仅此一次的人生。
“这个世界需要更多有勇气去在乎的人。”
由生成式人工智能翻译，译文内容可能不准确或不完整，以原文为准。
点击查看原文：Victor Wembanyama isn’t afraid to cry. One performance expert thinks we need more of it
Victor Wembanyama isn’t afraid to cry. One performance expert thinks we need more of it
This story is part of Peak,The Athletic’s desk covering the mental side of sports. Sign up for Peak’s newsletter here.
Victor Wembanyama sat on the bench with his San Antonio Spurs teammates, visibly emotional as he watched his team secure a victory over the Portland Trail Blazers in the NBA playoffs.
After the game, a French reporter asked Wembanyama why he believes athletes often struggle to display their feelings.
“Personally,” Wembanyama said, “I refuse to carry the burden of having to hide my emotions.”
When Brad Stulberg, a University of Michigan professor and author of “The Way of Excellence,” heard the comment, he immediately thought of what he calls the “epidemic of nonchalance.” A culture where caring deeply can be mistaken for weakness and emotional investment is often treated as something to hide.
To Stulberg, it’s exactly why Wembanyama’s answer stood out.
Stulberg works in the University of Michigan School of Public Health, where he researches, writes about and teaches human performance. Wembanyama is a particularly fascinating case study.
A 7-foot-4 center from France, Wembanyama has become one of the biggest stars in the NBA in just his third season. And he has done it by wearing his heart on his sleeve, including crying after leading the Spurs to the NBA Finals.
To Stulberg, it underscores a larger idea. He said a lot of people convince themselves they don’t care about something as much as they actually do in the hope that it’ll soften the blow if things fall through.
But he sees that less as confidence, and more as self-protection, or what he calls a “built-in handicap.” The problem, he said, is that protecting yourself from failure or judgment often means holding back from giving 100 percent of yourself.
He views Wembanyama’s willingness to openly care as a competitive advantage. The advantage isn’t necessarily in displaying emotion; it’s in refusing to waste energy hiding it.
“So many athletes and people in general spend so much time and energy on putting up a facade of how they think they should act or how they think other people are going to perceive them,” Stulberg said. “And that’s just wasted time and energy that could be used for competing. Give yourself permission to really lay it on the line. I think so many even elite athletes are self-handicapped in this way.”
Wembanyama has said he channels disappointment, jealousy, anger and passion. Instead of trying to play a certain role, he embraces being himself by following his feelings.
Stulberg said great performers often develop what psychologists call “psychological flexibility”— the ability to experience a wide range of emotions without becoming trapped by any of them. Essentially, it’s avoiding acting on short-term urges.
“It’s the ability a lot of elite performers have,” he said, “where they have this big toolbox of drives and they’re able to match a certain drive to the moment or what’s called for.”
The challenge is recognizing when a particular emotion is helping and when it has started to work against you.
And that’s a balance Wembanyama is still learning.
Stulberg pointed to his ejection for elbowing Minnesota Timberwolves center Naz Reid in the second round of the playoffs as an example. The same emotional intensity that can fuel performance can also become a liability when it takes over. Stulberg recommends small rituals, like a deep breath or short phrase, to interrupt automatic emotional reactions and give yourself a chance to choose a better response.
“It’s practicing responding, not reacting,” he said. “Reacting is rash and very emotionally laden, and responding is more deliberate.”
The potential benefits extend beyond individual performance.
When a team’s best player openly shows how much he cares, it gives others the permission to do the same. Trust, Stulberg said, is built through authenticity. Just as vulnerability strengthens friendships and relationships, it can strengthen teams by creating deeper bonds.
For Stulberg, that’s also where the lesson extends beyond basketball. The same willingness to care can strengthen experiences and ultimately lead to what he calls a “big and textured life.”
In his view, the lows may be lower, but the highs are higher. It is the price for a fuller emotional life.
Holding yourself back, he argues, sacrifices not only growth and potential but also fulfillment, intimacy and love, all in exchange for short-term safety and comfort. He calls that tradeoff a trap.
“You can either go through the motions and be superficially cool but actually boring,” he said, “or you can step into the arena, lay it on the line, care deeply, make yourself vulnerable and fully live your one and only life.
“The world needs more people who have the guts to care.”
By Elise Devlin, via The Athletic